Why consider psychotherapy?

You may have found yourself wondering whether therapy could help you. One of the hardest things we face is understanding the workings of our own minds. Even though we live with our thoughts and feelings every day, much of what happens inside us remains a mystery. Strangely, a casual acquaintance might notice things about us in a few minutes that we haven’t figured out after years of self-reflection. We are often the last to see what’s really at play within ourselves.

This difficulty exists because there is no simple way to truly know ourselves. We can’t just open a door and find a neatly organised ‘self’ waiting inside. Instead, we are ever-changing, unfixed, and complex, revealing glimpses of who we are only in moments of reflection or memory. There’s no point in time or space where we can step back and fully make sense of everything we’ve experienced. Life comes at us too fast, with too many feelings and impressions to sort through easily or clearly.

How can psychotherapy be helpful?

Psychotherapy provides a path to deeper self-understanding. It offers a way to step back and locate ourselves amid the complexity of our thoughts and feelings. Through this process, we gain a clearer perspective, allowing us to make sense of our experiences and organise them with greater care and clarity. By examining the feelings, desires, and inner conflicts we often push aside, psychotherapy helps us confront the sources of our distress. Over time, this exploration can lift the fog of confusion and despair, freeing us from the patterns that keep us stuck.

How is Psychotherapy different to a conversation with a friend or family member?

In therapy, we are invited to speak freely about whatever we think or feel, without fear of judgment or the need to impress. It is a space where our innermost fears and concerns can be voiced, and where we discover that the therapist is not horrified or offended by what we share. Instead, they listen with genuine interest and compassion, fully aware of how challenging it can be to reveal the hidden layers of our inner world.

We often begin therapy with specific difficulties in mind, but these initial concerns only hint at the deeper roots of our suffering. Why, for example, do we repeatedly choose relationships where we feel controlled or humiliated? Why are we paralysed by anxiety in public, or trapped in jobs we long to leave but cannot replace? Why do we sabotage our own opportunities for intimacy? These questions point to patterns that run far deeper than the surface issues we bring to the first session.

Through compassionate listening, thoughtful questions, and careful attention, the therapist seeks to connect our present struggles to the broader context of our lives, particularly the emotional landscapes of our childhoods. Over time, a series of small but meaningful discoveries begins to illuminate the sources of our pain and the ways we have adapted to cope with it. These adaptations, often forged in survival, can now be seen as limiting the possibilities available to us today.

As this understanding grows, so does our capacity to risk new ways of being. We may begin to hope again, to face fears we once avoided, to spend time alone without unease, or to explore paths we never thought possible. What we once believed to be fixed aspects of our personality may be recognised as protective stances we adopted in response to earlier challenges. With this insight, we can begin to imagine other ways of living—ways that feel safer and more authentic.

The therapist’s kindness and attention can soften the shame and silence we have carried. As we voice our deepest fears and desires, they become just slightly easier to share with others. Therapy opens the possibility of stepping out from the shadows of self-disgust and secrecy. It offers an alternative to silence and helps us find the courage to approach life with a new sense of openness and self-compassion.

What to expect.

After you make contact and we agree to meet, we typically begin with two to three initial sessions. In the first session, the focus is on understanding what has brought you to therapy and exploring the difficulties you are experiencing. I also aim to provide a sense of how I perceive your concerns. Toward the end of our first meeting, I will invite you to share your thoughts about what it was like to talk with me.

The subsequent two sessions are dedicated to gathering a detailed history to contextualise your current difficulties. Together, we explore significant aspects of your personal history, including your early childhood, adolescence, and adult experiences. During the last of our initial meetings, we make a decision together whether this process is the right fit for you and whether you feel comfortable with the idea of working together. If we are in agreement, I will provide you with my clinical recommendations regarding how frequently we should meet and we will discuss other practical arrangements, such as scheduling times, fees, and cancellation policies. After these initial sessions, therapy shifts toward a more open-ended format, where I encourage you to speak as freely as possible about whatever is on your mind. My role is to listen carefully, often focusing on the emotional undercurrents of what you share, and to offer insights that may shed new light on your experiences. As therapy progresses, I work to develop a deeper understanding of your difficulties and to share these reflections with you.